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And time goes on and on and on

~Still no word on the referral, lame.

~Still no prospects on the job front.

~Car being fixed will cost $2k. It died on the way to the mechanics (after I got my grandpa's truck to borrow again) and we had to have it towed. But he's rebuilding an engine for us so it'll be all happy soon. An awesome friend of mine is lending us the money since the family that could help, won't, and the family that would help, can't. Lame. Everything is lame! But it'll be fixed by the end of next week and I'll have my car back and I miss it.

~Instead of working on my new computer, Michael got me a new hard drive for my laptop since it was so cheap for 1tb. So now I have a case for my old hard drive and Sunday will Time Machine it up with the new one. I'm going from 320gb to 1tb and I'm very excited. Windows-only MMO time! Damn you, not-Mac games! My Mac is awesome and wants to play. Okay, I just want more games than just WoW. Not that I find time for anything but you know, I want the options.

~Shipped books to Amazon to sell, yay, and got a giant box to donate (yes, all books). Less stuff is my motto right now and I need to do better at that. Spring cleaning, good for if/when I finally get to move out. Especially if our current prospective situation doesn't get switched to the bigger room, we may have to get a storage unit for extra stuff. Clean clean clean!

I'm alive

~Still waiting to see if I get a referral to fix my issues, lame.

~Almost found a new job, but it was just an independent contractor commission only insurance sales position in the end, lame. So still trying to find a new job and cleaning my room and keeping M sane.

~Sadly my car needs work on it again, after the radiator burst and caused overheating and making the head have issues so it'd continue to overheat, now it's the catalytic converter and the pre-catalytic. We fixed the catalytic, temporarily, but now it's the pre-catalytic that isn't flowing right. It won't accelerate properly, takes forever on flat ground and on an incline it struggles to maintain a decent speed. And by decent speed I mean if I don't have insane momentum then on bad inclines I'm lucky if I can keep 20mph. So that means visiting M requires city streets only, freeways on the way to him go up and down too much. Joy. Now we save and save because car comes before finishing my almost finished computer.

~Because of helping his friend D, M has most of the parts for my new computer build and it's exciting. Too bad it won't be done soon, oh well. I have a shiny LAN box and a motherboard and processor, going to borrow one of M's video cards for now so just need RAM and a hard drive. If the one in my mac mini isn't dying, I'll just use it, but I have to test. It's been shutting itself down, hopefully it's just a heating issue.

~I have New Balance Minimus trail shoes and I love them so much. Been going on walks around the neighborhood with them and my new yoga pants and ahh, I love being outside. Going to use the Couch To 5K plan to get better at taking walks, woo.

Apr. 11th, 2013

~Doctor's appointment next Tuesday, going to point out that bleeding keeps coming back, not fully healed and I'm really tired of wearing pads to protect clothes from being ruined. I cannot afford new clothes.

~Which also means no saving up to buy new MacJournal, oh well.

~I'm finally really trying to clean my room, since I'm trying really hard to get a better job so we can move out. Basically I'm forcing myself to really look at the random crap I have and really judge if it not only has a future use but if I'll actually make use of it. I've been holding onto things for years and years, thinking one day I'll use it, but really they just take up space and gather dust.

~My living situation is okay, no stress about it, but for M it's been worse recently and as much as we'd like to  use a new job for me as time to save up, not going to happen. Moving out takes priority before we break.

~Better news, drinking more water, woo! We're trying to get into shape, eat better (less for now, but better once we have a place), exercise more. Once M loses enough weight that long walks won't be causes evil rashes, we're going to do that a lot together. I finally feel okay enough to walk around my neighborhood (it's not exactly what you call quiet, I live on a busy street) so on days I can go out in the morning I'm going to try to. Before the sun kills me.

Why must things hate me?

So first off, not gastroenterologist unless it gets worse/bleeds more/I hate going to the doctor.

I've barely been home recently, there goes thinking my little schedule plan will work, haha.

Also, I use MacJournal to post to here except now it freaks out dealing with sharing, can't share, can't edit share settings, it just freezes up. I could upgrade finally but I have exercise things to buy that come first so, maybe not.

Meme to get back into the swing of things

LAYER ONE: THE OUTSIDE

- Name: Meagan / Aiden

- Eye Color: Green/yellow/light brown (hazel, call it hazel, a very green hazel)

- Hair Style/Color: Medium brown, shoulder length for now (growing to butt) usually in a ponytail

- Height: 5'3"

- Clothing style: Comfy whatever

- Best physical feature: Hands



LAYER TWO: THE INSIDE

- Your fears: Spiders, heights, very small spaces, going blind

- Your guilty pleasure: I'm don't feel guilt over any of it! (overly dramatic tv shows and smut fanfiction)

- Ambitions for the future: Stability



LAYER THREE: THOUGHTS

- Your first thoughts waking up: It can't be morning, just a few more hours.

- What you think about most: Michael and how I can't wait to get a place with him for more cuddle times

- What you think about before bed: Too many things, it's why I take a pill to help me fall asleep

- You think your best quality is: Being nice



LAYER FOUR: WHAT’S BETTER?

- Single or group dates: Single

- To be loved or respected: I don't really get this one, you can't really love without respect so...

- Beauty or brains: Brains

- Dogs or cats: Cats, though I have a soft spot for my parent's mini and toy poodles


LAYER FIVE: DO YOU?

- Lie: Yeah, and sadly I can be good at it

- Believe in yourself: More now because of anti-depressants

- Want someone: Yes, in that I have someone but not physically with me as often as I'd like



LAYER SIX: EVER?

- Been on stage: Yes

- Done drugs: Yup

- Changed who you were to fit in: More like I tried to be good at social things when I had too much anxiety that it didn't work very well. But it wasn't that it was out of character, just couldn't get that part of me out.



LAYER SEVEN: FAVORITES

- Favorite color: Green, red, blue, black, grey

- Favorite animal: Otter

- Favorite movie: Mulan, Tangled, Lilo & Stitch, Labyrinth

- Favorite game: WoW, any Final Fantasy, Sims (2, 3, freeplay on my iPad)



LAYER EIGHT: AGE

- Day your next birthday will be: Saturday

- How old will you be: 28

- Age you lost your virginity: 22

- Does age matter: It can, if you're really young, or you make it matter when it shouldn't



LAYER NINE: IN A BOY OR GIRL

- Best personality: Sense of humor, honest, compassionate, patient, flexible

- Best eye color: Any, really, though lighter colors draw me more

- Best hair color: Red (actually just not blonde)

- Best thing to do with a partner: Cuddle



LAYER TEN: FINISH THE SENTENCE

- I love cinnamon

- I hide things that bother me sometimes

- I miss being around my friends all the time

- I wish I had my own place as a sanctuary

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My body betrays me

So, last June I had an abscess that had to be surgically removed. I was out of work for two weeks, bedridden and in pain. That was awful.

Well, for a moment back in January I thought it came back, which it can, but no, just a hemorrhoid. It started out awful but then got better so eh, I’ll just hope it heals itself. Well, it started to get a bit worse again and I was waiting to see if I needed to call my doctor when it got better. Only, the reason why it got better? Draining. From a hole that should not exist. That I got from surgery back in June. So my doctor is referring me to a gastroenterologist. So we’ll see how this goes. Crossing fingers. Though if the way I’m feeling worse and worse is anything to go by, I may have an infection I need antibiotics for after all.

I’ll make a separate post about last February, I’m all over it finally, realized that while blocking it away I just let it go. I just want to put it all together so it makes sense.

So I get to see Catch Me If You Can  at the Pantages Theatre tomorrow, yay. Really enjoy that movie and it’s free, because M’s grandma and grandpa got tickets before making plans to be out of town. So yay, plans. Maybe we can make it into a date with some food. To be honest, we’ve only really had “dates” on Valentine’s Day. Otherwise even if we do a lot together in one day, it’s just a normal day, it’s not really a date and our time. Well, also our anniversary, that’s six flags day.

I don’t know how long ago my friend C got me a stepper but I finally started using it yesterday. Ah, my knees, but they are okay today and I’ll use it again tomorrow. Sadly putting a box on my desk to make it a standing desk doesn’t make my laptop high enough to use with stepper, must fix this.

I’ll try to keep this updated regularly, sadly it’ll be easy for medical reasons, rawr.

I'm melting I'm melting

I hate the heat. It's March, not June, this is not right LA.

Set up a daily schedule of sorts, so I don't get too overwhelmed by all that I need to do.
Daily schedule
Sun: study
Mon: tumblr/Pinterest
Tues: photos/music
Wed: study
Thurs: tumblr/Pinterest
Fri: penzu/LJ
Sat: photos/music
So hopefully I'll have more to say Friday.

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.

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I'm not dead!

Ugh I lost a friend, sadface. I have anti-depressant times but motivation still not optimal. Some health stuff had me bed ridden for weeks that meant nothing done. I won't promise to be back regularly but I do have things to say, things I've finally gotten over that will explain last year. So don't think I'm gone, I just need to sort out all the pile up from last year.

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPad.

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Nov. 20th, 2012

It's that time of year again. I know I haven't talked a lot but I'll try by new year or right after. But it's the holidays I don't plan to forget my cards! So if you want a card, just comment with your address, they will be screened. I'll start working on them after this weekend.

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This may be easier from now on

I still need to get used to this damn app though. Dealing with tags but then couldn't figure out how to get back to writing the post! Oh well. I have my iPad (named Amelia) and her keyboard (still to be named, damn it) and hopefully this means more writing in the future, not just in here. It's hard to just set up my laptop and typing on my lap isn't always easy, depending on where I am. This way I can just pull out two little things and start at it. Yay! A million other things I need to do but oh well, such is life. Do I do anything I mean to do in the day? ...

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPad.

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